Dear, R

Truly, it’s not the first time in my life I pray for someone who I consider as my special one. But, it is the hardest. I’m at a stage in my life where I don’t wanna look for someone anymore. I’m tired of dealing with the journey of finding someone but I’m also tired of dealing with my loneliness. I’m in doubt. Is it normal? We all doubt ourselves, don’t we?

Time passes and people change. Things change. Feelings change. But memories, they stay the same. I can’t imagine how I’ll be if “we” change nor one of us changes. Isn’t it sad when people don’t consider you as an important part of their lives like it used to?

I know it’s selfish to feel that your special one is leaving you because he/she pursues his/her dreams, because he/she wanna make his/her dreams come true. Is it normal to feel this way? I’m stressed to the point that I want to cry. Even I know that this time will come. Even I’ve prepared it all this time. Still, I’m not well-prepared. I’m not ready for letting you go.

Forgive me. Forgive my ego. Forgive my insecurities of losing you. Forgive my randomness and everything that I had done. Frankly, I get irritated by my insecurities of losing you in my life. Please, do forgive my insecurities. I’m awfully terrified you’ll find someone better than me. Someone who can complete you. How pathetic I am.

I know you were always be there for me. I know you are always be there for me. And I hope, you’ll always be there for me.

Dear, you…

Thank you for being you.

Dear, you…

I think, I love you.

Dear, what do I know about love anyway?